My (almost) FAMOUS Scrambled Eggs

Scrambled eggs.

Delicious, nutritious and much easier and quicker to whip up while you’re half asleep than a breakfast souffle with all the bells and whistles (yet just as impressive). Hell, it’s even easier than a bowl of cereal on a standard get-kids-to-school-then-get-to-work morning, not to mention being a hundred billion times more nutritious (than many typical breakfast cereals).

Having said that, there is a HUGE difference between fabulous scrambled eggs and disappointing, watery, flavorless ones.  Today I’m going to share my tricks and tips on how you can quickly and easily transform “meh..” scramble into “holy-shit-balls” scramble.

Now, I do feel it’s important that I mention my scrambles are a little bit famous (gotta blow my own horn sometimes). Requested by the owners and their guests time and again (when I say ‘owners’ I’m referring to the people who own the yacht I worked on this year). It was also excitedly requested that I share my “trick” with the incredibly exuberant and lovely owner/designer of a well known Turkish clothing brand (there’s that horn again!). To say he was enthusiastic about my eggs would be an understatement.

On that note. Lets talk eggs.

Your scrambles will only be as good as the eggs you’re using. No being cheap and cutting egg corners (imagine if eggs had corners. Ha!). If you have laying hens, CONGRATULATIONS you have achieved egg nirvana and we should all strive for this kind of bliss. If you know someone who has egg surplus from over achieving laying hens, AND is willing to share the goods with you- wonderful. This is almost as good. Almost.

If you’re now sobbing into your empty egg carton, never fear. You can buy fabulous eggs! I’m not going to tell you to buy organic, free-range, tiara wearing, happy chicken eggs…actually yes I am*. Why? Because they ARE better. Trust me on this. From both a nutritional point of view and TASTE.

Room temperature eggs is where it’s at, the scramble comes together better.  If you keep your eggs in the fridge try taking them out for about an hour prior to use. Or, because no one ever remembers to do this (why would you, you have a life), you can pop your eggs into a bowl of tepid (say about 25 – 30 degree) water for around 5-10 minutes.

What you will need…

  • Eggs (Duh!) 2 per person is great
  • a mixing bowl
  • a fork
  • a spatula
  • a non-stick pan
  • cream, or Greek yogurt or coconut cream (this is the ‘secret’ ingredient – creaminess)
  • a little butter or oil (optional….you may find you need it if your pan is prone to sticking)

The secret ingredient…

Some creaminess. This makes the scrambles luscious and decadent. I recommend using cream, Greek yogurt (the thick, plain, tangy stuff) or coconut cream/milk.   I don’t use a huge amount, a splodge or two does the trick (very technical I know). Now, you don’t have to add this to your scramble. It’s merely my suggestion. But, I will not take responsibility for the disappointment you may feel with the end product. *throws hands up and shakes head*

The Technique…

Don’t be in a rush with your scrambles. It gets you flustered, it get them flustered…and we all end up emotional. Take your time. Stop, enjoy the process. Never fear, you will still have time to style your mohawk or paint your cat’s toe nails before you start your day.

  1. Put your pan on the heat, low to medium is good. Add some butter or oil if you wish, or maybe you need to because your “non-stick pan” is a liar.
  2. Crack your eggs into the mixing bowl, add a splodge or two of creaminess (say…a tablespoon or two)
  3. Gently whisk them with the fork, only until the yolks are just broken and the cream is roughly dispersed.
  4.  Pour the eggs into the warm pan, grab your spatula and gently scrape the sides and bottom of the pan to bring up the cooked egg.
  5. Do NOT walk away from your scramble. Once it’s in the pan I urge you to not leave them. Now is NOT the time to get the toast on, make a cup of tea or check Farmville. Sorry, but your cows can wait.
  6. Keep gently scraping the pan with your spatula, ensuring evenly cooked egg, monitor the heat – keep it on the lower side of medium. Slow is pro!
  7. You must pay attention. This is important. This will be the difference between fabulous scrambles and ones that will get you kicked off Master-Chef.
  8. When the eggs are mostly solid, but still wet looking and a little gooey turn the heat OFF. Slightly under cooked is actually best.
  9. Serve immediately & enjoy!
  10. Find someone to do your dishes, this makes the scrambles taste even better!

Serving suggestions for scrambles are…

  • on toast with a little salt & pepper – simple, classic.
  • on top of avocado on toast – a bit fancy and bloody tasty.
  • with smoked salmon, tomato and avocado – very posh.
  • with grilled tomato and mushroom – hearty and delicious.
  • with bacon – umm bacon, enough said.

Now that you have mastered the art of scrambled egg perfection you must go forth and share this with all the rubbery-watery scrambled egg eaters out there. Or your personal chef so he can damn well get it right for once – slacker.

*If you can’t get hold of organic, free range, tiara wearing, happy chicken eggs, or they don’t fit your budget. Please opt for the best eggs you can find and afford. Easy 🙂

Do you feel that dozens, hundreds, thousands…(dare I say it..) millions of people may just get really excited about the secret to perfect scrambled eggs…? Yep – I know….it’s like we know each other intimately. Go on then….hit share and give the people what they want!

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