Grab a cuppa….we need to chat.
Firstly….I’m saying this because I care. Because you’re worth more than you may think, your wellbeing is at the forefront of my mind – always. That’s why I show up here.
Secondly, I’m saying this because things need to change. Immediately. I’ve been really uncomfortable about this for a LONG time. Perhaps you have too, but unless more of us speak up and say “no, this is a load of shit” nothing will change. Attitudes will remain the same, as will the guilt, self-deprecation and comparison.
What the actual fuck am I on about…?
I’m talking about your weight. The number on the scales. I’m also talking about the number on your clothing tags, the BMI (body mass index) number your Doctor bangs on about and I’m taking about the number you think will make you happy.
Think about that number for a moment….that number you believe will make you happier. What is it? More importantly WHY do you believe this number will make you feel any differently than you do right now? Or, how you feel when you don’t see that number..? What happens then?
That’s the part that actually makes me sick to my stomach. Just writing this is making me both furious and deeply sad…because I know (from personal experience) all the horrible things that go through your mind when you don’t see that number. The guilt you feel, the berating words you use, the nasty bitchy passive aggressive statements about how you look, what you eat, how you exercise. About how you’re clearly not good enough. About how no one will ever like/love/employ/marry/choose/whatever you if you don’t get serious and BE THAT NUMBER.
I’ll be honest here because its not always the shitty inner words that get to you….its also the shitty outer words too. Yep, people can be assholes. Especially women. Especially women when it comes to weight. It will generally come across in a subtle passive aggressive way and leaves the person on the receiving end feeling really worthless, depleted and as though its all their fault. I should point out that often times these comments (generally) are not in anyway meant to be hurtful or taken in a negative way. However, if we already have even just a tiny hang-up about our weight/body/appearance everything can be taken out of context.
In this day and age of selfies, before and after pics, filters, photo-shop and fake everything its not easy to feel like a divine natural freakin’ goddess. It’s also near impossible to know whats real and whats not.
If I could have one wish for everyone right now, it would be that they would throw out their scales. The only time scales would be used was for specific medical calculations and purposes (like…how much medication or anesthetic you need). This would also eliminate BMI as a standard measure. Which is perfect because BMI is just crap. Let’s be real here….you generally don’t need to calculate someones BMI to know if they are over weight or obese. If you have a pair of eyes you can tell, by looking at them. You know what else…they will be aware of the fact they’re not at a healthy weight. They will be aware, but perhaps in complete denial. In that case it’s not the weight that’s the problem…its the emotional stuff going on inside that’s the real issue.
I really don’t believe weight is a good indicator of overall health, if you do believe this then I’d love to know why (email me email@example.com). We know that muscle weighs more than fat, we know that perhaps if we’re retaining fluid (for whatever reason) the scales will be higher. Hell, if we’re yet to have a poo for the day the scales will read more (if not you need to eat more fiber). There are so many other things that can impact what the scales say at any given time of the day (week or month)….it is just NOT worth allowing your happiness to be determined by THAT number.
I’ve seen it time and again, women (and men too, they really are not immune to this – as I became surprisingly made aware of just the other week. How ignorant of me!) who are on a “diet” and are trying to lose weight. They’re jumping on the scales each day, its dropping – so they’re happy. Then it doesn’t, or it starts to go back up….but they’re doing everything right: “I just don’t know whats going on!?” they declare. I’ve spoken with women numerous times in this situation, they always have a frantic, desperate, oh-my-god-give-me-an-answer vibe going on. Then I ask….okay….but how are you feeling? Do you notice any difference in your energy? Your skin? What about how you’re clothes are fitting..?
Hmm….this get them thinking, and what do you know – the answers are always: well yes I feel really good, I’m happier! I don’t have that 3pm slump, I wake up feeling refreshed and yeah…I guess my pants are a little less tight.
There you have it. Weight is a load of SHIT.
So why can’t we let it go…? I think that’s the real point here. The issue of the ‘numbers’ is never going away until there is a massive shift in today’s society. Especially within the health and fitness industry.
My advice to you right now is….if you have any kind of negative reaction or self-deprecating, guilt laden inner dialog; or fear based thoughts and feelings when it comes to your weight and being weighed….STOP RELYING ON THE NUMBERS NOW. I give you permission to not give a fuck about what the number on the scales reads. You are better than a number. Your intelligence, self-worth, popularity, love-ability and general awesomeness has absolutely nothing to do with it. EVER!
Chose to put all that energy into taking sublime care of yourself – eat nutritious food, move and exercise to boost your mood and liveliness, rest and take time out. Most importantly….work on self-love and your self-worth. Because when that is sky high I promise you….the number on the scales or on your clothes wont mean shit.
If this has you fist pumping and wanting to amp up the self-love, say fuck-you to the scales and feel utterly empowered in your own health and well-being….. there are a few things you can do….
- Share this with your friends, your tribe your peeps. Or perhaps just someone who really needs to hear it (hit the social buttons below).
- Give my 7-Day BOOSTER a go…it’s full of easy to understand AND action steps to gently improve your nutrition, exercise, sleep and rest, motivation, self-love and finding balance. It’s 100% realistic and…FUN. Learn more HERE & Sign-up today
- Consider coming along to my epic workshop (with the lovely Hollie Crawford) which is all about those things (if you’re in/near the Clare Valley) we would LOVE to have you join us! Learn more HERE
- Get the ultimate support…that’s what I’m here for. Perhaps we can work together to blast through your negative self-doubts and really refine what healthy means for you. Click Here to learn more.
My apologies for all the swear words….I had considered editing them…but, that’s how I talk in real life when I’m passionate and fired up. As you can tell, I’m all about the truth, even if it is a little inappropriate.
I’d love to hear your feedback or thoughts on this – leave a comment, jump over to Facebook or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org).
**my beautiful featured image is from Death to Stock – http://deathtothestockphoto.com/